Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Overwhelmed, As Usual

Yet again, it seems as if everything that could possibly be on my plate is this week. I haven't had a Tuesday or a Thursday without a test/paper/huge assignment due in something ridiculous...probably around three weeks. And I know how I can get when I get stressed. I either a. shut down or b. freak the hell out. Funny thing: I'm doing both this week. I'm pissed at a professor...like really, really pissed. She's super-unclear with her expectations and allows creativity, no thinking outside of her little box...and it's a lit class for God's sake. One of the best classes to let our creativity out. If this class effing messes with my GPA, I will flip shit...like hardcore. Nothing like being told that I have some of the clearest writing in the class but still seeing a whole fucking letter grade taken off of my paper because I connected the topic with something outside of the stories we were reading. Last time I checked, they let non-majors into a class to get other perspectives, not to force them into a singular way of thinking. Sure, I'll write down to her expectations in the next paper, but I'll be damned if I let her affect my writing in any negative way. And I volunteered to compile a paper for a group project and, holy hell, if I have to write a paragraph tomorrow morning before class I will be pissed.
My stomach has not been reacting well to any of this stress. I had let myself take a break off of the expensive over-the-counter stuff that the doctor has encouraged me to take for my stomach. It works, but for some reason, it makes me super-tired and just...weird. It's better than being sick for weeks in a row, but I have to seriously think about taking it again...mostly because it is uber-expensive and I only want to take it when I absolutely need it. I don't feel sick, just a little uncomfortable (like I feel gross, but not like anything I was feeling last year) after I eat anything, healthy or otherwise. I should probably call the doctor and schedule the test for over Thanksgiving or Christmas break, but I want to have a vacation and not have to spend a whole day in the hospital getting the test done and then at home recuperating from the anesthesia (which takes me forever...I mean, I was seriously out of it for like 24-48 hours after my wisdom teeth). Plus, I want to spend Christmas break with the baby...
Ugh, it's just so much at once...school, stomach stuff, pondering working over Christmas break (and really wondering if anyone can really afford to hire me even temporarily), grad school applications and constantly putting off asking profs to write recommendations, driving home as many weekends as possible (two weekends in a row made for two very very long weeks), and everything else that's going on. I don't handle stress very well.

No comments: