Reaching out

Reaching out, or reaching around?
Progress, or just another go 'round?
Sameness, deja vu.
No matter what I try and do


It's little, it's not very good, but I promised myself I'd write more creative stuff too...poetry, short stories, stuff like that. Sometimes it's really hard to find the time and a lot of my stuff becomes really cynical really fast. I'm beginning to question the whole idea that anything can get any better because once I think it is, something else comes crashing down. I don't know, I've just been soooo stressed out lately, it's been hard to handle. Between school, family stuff, extra curriculars...I don't know...I've just been running around in circles. Greg says I take on too much responsibility; Eric says I take the world on my shoulders. Everything I do needs to be perfect; there's no in between there. And when I know it can't be done perfectly, I have a tendency to not do it or put it off, which then adds more stress. Plus, there are just some responsibilities that I don't feel comfortable casting aside. I realize I'm becoming like an extra parent to my brother, making sure he's doing okay, school-wise, but mostly in dealing with my parents. And it's not fair; I'm 21 years old and it feels like all of a sudden, I have a 16-year-old kid that I'm at least partially responsible for. And I owe it to him; he's one of the most awesome kids I know, and he deserves the world. But he's just a kid...he needs help to get the world, and sometimes I think that I'm the only one who can help him get it. My parents, I guess, have other things to worry about. And he sometimes gets lost in the shuffle. Hopefully, this summer will be a good time to work all of this out. At the very least, he's got a place to stay that's away from both parents if he needs it. He's always welcome, and he knows it.